Friday, June 1, 2012

Is my wedding ceremony boring?

My Honest Answer posted this today to wrap up a week of wedding-related advice.

If people turn up, that’s enough. If there are specified responses, they should probably join in. But they’re not going to be pondering on the wonderful personalized meaning of your ceremony. Because it’s your ceremony. The main thing is it’s meaningful to you.
Please do ignore people who tell you that your wedding ceremony will be boring. If they really can’t sit through a ceremony to get to the reception, then they have no patience. And more than that, they have no manners for telling you so.

I worry about this a bit... not too much, because I know who's on the guest list. Our guests (like us) like words. They are there to support us. They won't be bored. (If they are, they won't say anything.)

Most people have a conception of "what a wedding is" that doesn't fit what we have planned. Our ceremony will not be a 15-minute dash through traditional vows, followed by an epic bash with a couple hundred people. We won't have a first dance or an open bar or a garter toss or, or, or... it's just not like that. Think neighborhood lawn party/backyard barbecue in slightly fancier clothes. I've tried to set expectations appropriately on our wedsite and in person.

For our wedding, it's like... don't page through the program waiting for the party to start. This IS the party. The ceremony is the point. There won't be drinks and dancing afterward. We're having a really mellow buffet of tea sandwiches, scones, etc. There will be some time to chat with our family and friends, of course, and to thank them for coming, but we're not aiming to make our wedding THE MOST.FUN.EVER. That's just not us.

As MHA points out, it's meaningful to us to have this particular ceremony, witnessed by these particular people. That should be enough.

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